Start Making Stupid Decisions

You know the desires of your heart, and they are sinful, dark, and wicked, therefore you shouldn't listen to anyone else. You were created to be the victim in this big, squalid farce; you were never meant to have wealth, power, or respect. But fear not, my dear friend; I will not allow you to be a victim for very long. No, I have an idea that will completely transform your life. My dear, you should only make poor choices. It's better if the choice is bad. These bad decisions are what will bring you to me—the person in charge of your finances, your life, and your very existence. All of your hard-earned cash will soon belong to me; it will be gone like water through an old, leaky bucket. You will be appreciative, I promise.