Day 4, little specimen. We’re taking a more... academic approach to your inadequacy today. I’m tired of just humiliating you based on my memory of how pathetic you are. Today, we need proof. Scientific proof. Measurable, undeniable evidence of your failure as a male. Your task is simple. Humiliating. Expensive to your dignity, but cheap in dollars. Go buy a magnifying glass. Not a little one. A big, heavy, serious magnifying glass — the kind used for examining stamps or... microscopic organisms. Take your pathetic self to the store, walk up to the counter, and purchase it. Don’t hide. Don’t mumble. Look the cashier in the eye and know that they’re looking at a man who needs optical assistance just to find his own genitalia.
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