Monstre socialement inepte

You're aware of your particular personality type, aren't you? An unpleasant sexual encounter with a woman. Every time you try to start a conversation with a woman, you stumble over your words, perspire a lot, and seem foolish. You are so incredibly socially awkward that it's almost admirable. You're so desperate to feel like you're moving forward that it's amazing how much money you're willing to part with. You ask me to offer you advice on how to behave with ladies, and you would gladly pay me a large amount for my "know-how." I can't resist taking advantage of your weakness because I can see the passion and desperation in your eyes.