Smoking virgin time to learn

You have to be a total nerd to have never smoked before. You want to learn how to be cool, how to smoke?? Today is the day! I will begin by lighting you up. You suck so bad though because you immediately begin gagging. You failed to do it right, Do I really have to go through this basic smoking information! How pathetic. I guess I will waste my time making a man out of you. Step by step basic smoking instructions for the lamest of fucks!